A Wedding Without Marriage
5.17.2016
Sometimes I try to imagine the wedding industry without any lace, white-frosted cakes, watercolor invites, flowy dresses, dreamy floral arrangements, perfectly posed photos, etc. etc.
What’s left? Anything? At all? Nope. Nada. Zero. There is nothing left of the wedding industry.
The definition of 'wedding' is “a ceremony at which two people are married to each other”.
So can someone tell me why the entire wedding industry focuses on everything but that marriage?
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I got married on a perfectly brisk October day in a New Hampshire state park with the gold sun dancing on leaves and the scent of fresh pine wooing all of us into the first chapter of our love story.
I wore a flowy white dress. I had a dreamy floral arrangement. I used the sweetest decorations and playlists. We took perfectly posed photos. It was amazing. I felt amazing. I looked amazing. He looked amazing. It was a dream.
But what made me a bride were my vows, my brave commitment to forever with another beautifully flawed human being, and the fact that I would walk away, a wife.
So again, I ask you, can you tell my why the entire wedding industry focuses on everything but marriage?
Maybe it’s because flowers are prettier, easier, and don’t have a 50% chance of failing like marriages do.
Maybe it’s because we live in a terribly materialistic world.
Maybe it’s because it’s simply what sells.
I don’t really know the exact answer. But I know that’s how it is. And I know that it needs to change.
The wedding industry needs to change because believe it or not, I am convinced that being a wife is better than being a bride! I am also convinced that a lifelong, fulfilling marriage is better (and far more important) than one day of celebration.
Because you could go all out on your big day…spend the big bucks, do the full beauty work-up, lose the 10 lbs, create the perfect playlist, organize the best registry… but unfortunately, none of those things will guarantee you a lasting, happy marriage.
Here’s what will:
1. Communication
When it comes to your future marriage, talk with your future spouse about anything and everything. Talk with married friends. Talk with single friends. Asks questions. Listen to answers.2. Perspective
When the wedding stress seems to be taking over your entire engagement, remember what this wedding is about in the first place. This healthy perspective will help you put your relationship with yourself and your future spouse first.3. Premarital Counseling
This is NOT just for couples with issues. It’s also for couples who have never fought a day in their life. It’s for couples who bicker here or there. It is for EVERYONE.
4. The Bare Bride
I created a business that is focused on empowering women to rediscover the heart of being a bride…which, as we’ve discovered, is really all about becoming a wife and pursuing a wildly happy marriage. I have great resources for brides including free downloads, a Guided Journal, and a coming soon e-course! My challenge to you? Create your beautiful wedding. But invest your heart, mind, and soul into your future marriage.
Because 10 years from now, it won’t be your expensive centerpieces holding your marriage together!
www.thebarebride.com
@thebarebride on instagram
I created The Bare Bride to help women redefine what it means to be a bride by giving them the tools and support that they need to focus on the things that matter most: emotional health, their dreams and goals, and their relationship with friends, family, future spouse, and self. The Bare Bride exists to journey with women through their engagements and into the marriages of their dreams as brave and capable wives.
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Head over to The Bare Bride blog to read my guest post about navigating the bridal party element of your wedding.
